Welcome to the fellowship
By Chris Swan

PERFECT
BY CHRIS SWAN

CHORUS:

I always thought that I was supposed to try to be perfect,
But when I look up high, the twinkle in your eye,
Tells me that I’m worth it.
’Cuz you love me, completely,
And I see it all around me,
And now I don’t have to try to be perfect anymore.

VERSE 1:

I remember being little writing songs in my room,
And not a single day would go by where I wasn’t consumed,
All I wanted to do and all I wanted to be,
Was a rapper and musician for the world to see.
I needed to be the best, had the love in my chest,
And I was blessed with a family taught me all the rest,
And I guess I learned young I needed everyone to like me,
I just couldn’t handle it if anyone would spite me.
So I went to work just writing them songs,
Practicing piano, making beats,
I couldn’t go wrong.
If I could get to the top then I could show them all,
That I was worth something, hurt couldn’t stop me at all.
All I needed was perfection and no one could ever hurt me,
It’s better than connection and I’d feel like I was worthy,
Surely my plan was tight, I was unstoppable,
It turns out perfection?
It wasn’t even possible.

CHORUS

Da Da Da Da Da…

VERSE 2:

So I grew up to feel like I was a failure at life,
I wasn’t perfect, wasn’t rich or something just wasn’t right,
I had impossible goals and expectations to meet,
And every time I fell short, I felt incomplete.
This turned into years of feeling like I wasn’t good enough,
I wasn’t meant to succeed in rap, I wasn’t hood enough,
Began to hate myself and depression, it soon followed,
Trying so hard to be perfect had left me feeling hallow.
It wasn’t until I hit the bottom and found you,
I started hearing less of the lies and more truth,
The more I heard the more I knew I had nothing I had to prove,
I had one decision to make it was easy to choose,
I chose life, I chose to love who I am,
A flawed human being that’s part of a perfect plan,
I was loved as a kid and now I’m loved as a man,
I hope the songs I write now help you understand.

CHORUS

Da Da Da Da…

And now I don’t have to try to be perfect anymore.

INFLUENCE (FEAT. JARMEL REECE)
BY CHRIS SWAN AND JARMEL REECE

CHORUS:

Everybody want to say that dreams aren't meant to be,
Let's see,
Got a few believers surrounding me,
That is my influence.
And if you want to stay behind and never try,
That's fine,
I'm swimming in dreams that never die,
That is my influence.

VERSE 1:

So many people tell me that I cannot do what I want to do,
What I need to do, what God has told me to, and now I,
See all these people sitting in their misery in Missouri,
And every other state this life has brought me too, but I just,
Can't stand to see these people thinking that their life is over,
All over a girl, a job, a lost one, or not being sober,
And I can't help but thinking if they knew what I knew,
They would see that there's a way out and their suffering could now be over,
See I know what it feels like to be stuck,
Caught in a rut,
Feeling like there's no way to pull yourself up,
So what to do but make the people around you feel your pain,
And then it's just more of the same,
But please hear me, when I say clearly,
To all ya'll dearly, do not get near me,
If you just want to fear me to join your party,
It's a pity that you already ain't with me,
I'm sorry, I'm moving on.

CHORUS

VERSE 2:

Hey, who said because you're black you can't make a difference,
It's like you'd rather go to court instead and got to prison,
But they ain't giving tuitions for being dumb,
Look at what we've become,
The knowledge is deeply rooted,
You can see it in a bum,
I look at my daughter's eyes,
I see the queen that they can be,
My son can be a king,
But his strength depends on me,
And I teach them all right,
And hopefully they will follow,
And they want to be some wives instead of a baby mama, eh,
They see so many things,
This a corrupted nation,
The same sex, gender, sideways sexual relations,
And then they put it on the TV stations,
I ain't here to criticize but just know that these are children's eyes,
They won't get the chance to be what they want to be,
They just see the things they see and they want to be,
But the future of this nation now depends on me,
I'm tired of talking 'bout it now, ya'll can follow me,
Come on.

CHORUS

VERSE 3:

So I keep swimming and swimming,
In all these dreams I've been given,
And keep on living and living,
And looking for all the women and men and children,
Who want to be free,
Like Jarmel and me,
'Cuz we see all the things you don't want to see,
Opportunity's all around, it's in the sound you're hearing right now,
And in your life it abounds,
You gotta fight the feeling that's all around you,
Holding you down, switch it around,
I'm glad we found you, now you're unbound,
So welcome to the sound of possibility,
And the world you see is finally full of positivity,
Ain't it good to be here on the other side and believe,
Now be the influence you want to be,
Let's change the world.

CHORUS 2X
 

THE MESS AROUND (FEAT. CHELA MANCUSO)
BY CHRIS SWAN AND CHELA MANCUSO 

CHORUS:

I don't even miss how it use to be,
Not looking back on what I use to see,
Stronger now than I was before,
You can't take this life from me,
Don't mess around anymore.

VERSE 1:

I don't mess around anymore because I can't afford it,
I mean it literally, I just don't have money for it,
I use to spend so much on alcohol it made me wonder,
Did someone rob my bank and take me out while I was under,
Maybe the strippers that I gave it to would loan it back,
I have a feeling that they have a policy against that,
So here I am with nothing left, don't try it 'till you knock it,
I heard a song about that once, I got Lint In My Pocket,
See The Mess Around done got me nowhere fast,
I had a lot of friends, but never friends who seemed to last,
Always alone and left to roam the grocery store at night,
Looking for food to match my mood and make everything right,
But everything was wrong, I knew that something had to change,
It's funny how this all started as fun and now it's strange,
The more I go down this path, the worse I seem to feel,
So I'm done messing around, I need some time to heal.

CHORUS

VERSE 2:

I don't mess around anymore 'cuz I don't need a hobby,
My days are full of things to do, it's true, ask anybody,
They see me making moves, I choose to use my time more wisely,
I made a change 'cuz it's my thing as if I was an Isley,
Brother, I don't need another reason,
To take my focus off my mission, wishing I had these and those and this and that,
I'm good with what I got,
You ask why?
Well, I use to try a lot.
I use to try to be cool, but then I looked silly,
I use to try to be smart, nobody bought it, really,
I use to try to be in, but always ended out,
I told the world I believed but I was full of doubt,
It wasn't 'till I gave up and stopped trying,
'Cuz I couldn't take it no more, I missed who I was,
And now I know it's enough 'cuz God told me so,
So take your lost and found, I don't mess around no more.

CHORUS

BREAK:
I know don't need the mess around,
I know don't need the mess around,
I know don't need the mess around,
I know don't need the mess around.

VERSE 3:
I don't mess around anymore 'cuz I am finally free,
I don't need to impress you people, I can let it be,
And I don't need to escape and numb my feelings out,
I'm not afraid anymore, yo, you should check this out,
See there's a reason that you're here, just have to take the time,
Be willing, honest and sure to open up your mind,
And when you do, I think it's safe to say you're gonna find,
It's time to leave that mess behind, and time to shine.

CHORUS 2X

 

PAIN
BY CHRIS SWAN 

CHORUS:

All this pain got me fallin', fallin', fallin',
All this pain got me fallin, fallin' again.

VERSE 1:

All this pain got me, right where it wants me,
Where it haunts me, where it holds me down every day and taunts me,
Even though I know I need to shine, need to get out get mine,
Get off my behind, 
Every time I do, it's there to remind me that it's gonna hurt,
And it's gonna hurt really bad this time,
There's no way to rewind, go back and do it right this time,
I am the product of all my choices, all the voices I choose to hear,
And the ones that disappear in all the noises of my life,
Full of gain, full of loss, full of pain,
And now I aim to make it right, but now I'm here,
And I'm broken, it's dark and it's hard to see the light,
Every day is a battle of wills,
My body verses me and who's got the skills?
Will I get out of bed, able to walk with a high head,
Or will I need a wheelchair instead?
I have to choose if the joy of sitting down is worth the pain of getting up,
Man, writing that down and saying it out loud feels really messed up,
What happened to my life, man,
Where did it go, how did I get here?
I have ideas, but it isn't clear,
And the only thing I know is that I can't go on like this,
I can survive the pain for many more years,
I'm so sick of the tears, sick of the chain,
Sick of the lies, the loss, the fear,
And sick of the shame,
This ain't a game, it's my life and I want it back,
I'm so sick of the pain.

CHORUS

VERSE 2:

How come we know what to do, but we still don't do it?
We know we have nothing to prove, but we still go through it?
And even though we want to be free, we still don't choose it,
We say "What's wrong with me?" and then we lose it,
How come we know what to say, but we don't say it,
And we know what we weigh, but we down play it,
And when it's time to change, we don't O.K. it,
Because we're scared of the change, but we won't say it.

CHORUS

VERSE 3:

I don't want to be fat, I don't want to be sick,
I don't to be tired, I don't want this to be it,
I don't want this pain to control my life,
I don't want this pain to come and take it,
I don't want to be a victim, I want to gain control,
I want to step up and win back my soul,
I'll never give up and I'll never give in,
I know that's exactly why I'm gonna win,
I deserve a life of joy and health,
I deserve to live and love myself,
Whatever it takes, I will not refrain,
'Cuz I will not be confined to this life of pain.

I deserve a life of joy and health,
I deserve to live and love myself,
Whatever it takes, I will not refrain,
'Cuz I will not be confined to this life of pain.

CHORUS

OUTRO

CREED AND VISION
BY CHRIS SWAN

CHORUS:

I want the confidence to be strong,
But the humility to be wrong,
Not always feel like I have to follow along,
I want to lead and listen, 
Have the Creed and Vision.

VERSE1:

I always wanted to be free, I never wanted to be me,
I wanted everyone to see a different, cooler side of me,
I always thought that I should be like someone else,
I never wanted to end up a lonely man, full of pride and fully flaunted,
So I played down my strengths in the name of being humble,
I told everybody thanks and hid away and slowly mumbled,
'Til I finally disappeared into the atmosphere,
Another minute gone, another dawn,
What really happened here?
Now I felt like no one even knew that I was here in the first place,
Hold up, I was trying to make room and not some dead space,
My head space is feeling kinda cloudy these days,
I was trying not to get burned not miss the sun rays,
Yo, it's sideways, I need to learn to stand up, and be strong,
And be heard, and be me, and be wise, and be wrong,
Humility is something earned with time,
I can't give you yours and you can't give me mine.

CHORUS

VERSE2:

I want strength that inspires, confidence that requires,
Hope that feeds choirs to sing and drench fires that burn,
In the souls of human beings that I admire,
With love I send a message that says we don't tire, we fight,
Together strong is our word of love, to those who ain't heard of love,
Sight that's been blurred by love, what we've been speaking of,
Is finding peace now, we need release now,
By finding leaders who can teach how,
To find our mission, in time, our vision,
Beyond our strengths, we giving what it takes,
And what makes us stronger is decision,
Precision timing says the time is here,
To step up and make our mission clear,
And if I volunteer,
I want my head up high, my knees down low,
I want to lead the few or the many who know,
It's out of love and grace that we inhabit this space,
And when it's time to bow out, I'll know.

CHORUS 2X

TAG:

It's ok to know our strength,
It's ok to know our weakness,
We use our weakness to make each other stronger,
'Cuz if one shines, we all shine longer.

H.O.P.E.
BY CHRIS SWAN

CHORUS:

I think we all could use some hope,
If you just open your eyes you’ll see it’s not so hard to cope,
With the bad now, if you see it somehow,
Can’t you feel the hope,
And if you want it then you got to give it,
Hope, hope.

VERSE1:

I think we all could use some hope,
Sometimes the light grows dim,
And I’ve been feeling it hide and feeling dirty inside,
I need some soap,
If I drink it all down will it help me drown the pain?
That sounds insane, I’m thinking nope,
There’s got to be a way to take these shades of grey,
And turn them into a ray of hope, hope.
See, I’ve been reading these Facebook conversations getting out of hand,
One dude trying to show love while 30 kill his plan,
And we just want to be right because we know we can,
But how does being right prove anything other than showing the world we up on high on our righteous stand?
How about instead of talking we start listening?
Hearing what each other’s feeling before jumping in,
Can you imagine what might just start happening?
Hope again.

CHORUS

VERSE2:

You don’t have to close your eyes no more,
Just look and see the dream you wished for.
You don’t have to close your eyes no more,
Just look and see the dream you wished for.

CHORUS

VERSE3:

White cop, black kid,
“Look at what you people did!”
Hands up, lines drawn,
Choose your side but don’t choose wrong,
We created a war we can’t win,
Where everybody’s out but nobody’s in,
It’s not black and white or right and wrong,
These are complex times,
New artist, same song,
By drawing lines in the sand we stop hearing the truth,
We start making things up, our logic is bulletproof,
But see if you’re always right that means I’m always wrong,
And there’s no way to find peace in these goings on,
The only way we win is making love come first,
Love for you and me and our best and our worst,
And when we start to love each other that’s when we are truly set free,
We can open our eyes and see hope,
Hope.

CHORUS

BRIDGE