The $1000 Piece Of Gum

I went to bed the other night stressed and anxious. This has been happening a lot lately.

I was overwhelmed with everything I had to do . It had all become too much and I had that anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was stressed. Fearful. Angry. Shameful. I felt defeated.

Then I had a dream while I was sleeping. Dreams are weird and so is this one, but the point was simple.

In the dream, I had gone to some kind of collectors museum with my family and purchased a pack of gum that was worth $2000. It was some kind of famous antique gum or something. In the pack of gum there were 2 pieces.

I somehow had lost one already so there was only one left. My 7-year-old nephew asked if he could look at it. I told him he could if he was very careful with it. He grabbed the gum and doing what kids do he popped that last piece of gum in his mouth and started chewing.

After a quick moment of panic and disappointment, I quickly realized what was important. It didn’t matter that I just lost $1000. What mattered is how much my nephew was enjoying the gum. He was chewing and smiling. Having a blast.

It suddenly all made sense. Who cares about the money? The point is to enjoy the gum.

I told him to really enjoy the gum and be sure to tell his friends he chewed a $1000 piece of gum. He then started to cry realizing what he had done. I put my arm around him, laughed, and told him if there is anyone in the world I would want to chew that gum, it was him. He was worth a million pieces of $1000 gum. He smiled and continued to enjoy the gum. I smiled and felt a peace in the pit of my stomach I hadn’t felt all day.

After that, all the stuff I was worried about started to seem silly. What was really important is that my nephew enjoyed the gum. At that moment, nothing else mattered.

Why does that have to change after I wake up?

Enjoy the gum.

- Chris

The Beauty In My Pocket

I have been thinking a lot about music lately.  It's so amazing, isn't it?  Life-changing.  And during these last few weeks of chaos and uncertainty, music has brought me more comfort and peace than I have allowed it to in years.

The truth is I have been taking music for granted for a long time now. Being a professional musician is actually a great way to make you hate music.

Sad but true.

Sometimes when music becomes a job, you lose sight of what you loved about it in the first place.  It becomes mundane and ordinary.  It becomes hard and even unpleasant all in the name of paying your mortgage.

When the world shut down and I was forced to slow down, I started remembering that I have had all this amazing music in my pocket this whole time yet I never take the time to listen to it anymore.

There was a time, not so long ago, when you had to buy tickets to hear music.  Then you had to wait for months until you could go to the show.  When that day finally came, you had to get dressed up and go to the place with all the other adults, sit in a seat, wait for the lights and the chatter to die down.  And then finally, you could listen to this music you had been craving for months. 

You only had one shot.  It was live.  No recordings.  So you had to be present.  Listen.  Take it all in.  And the only way you could record it was in your mind.

As the days went on after, you could replay it in your mind and relive the magic and the wonder of that night.  But as more time went on, it became harder and harder to recall the music.  The memory would begin to fade and eventually it was like you were never there.  So you had to buy another ticket, plan another night out, dress up, go to the room with the adults and do it all over again. 

This was the only way to listen to music.  This was the only way to get this comfort and beauty into your life.  It took time.  Dedication.  Patience.  And discipline.

With time came vinyl, cassettes and CD's.  We could finally start to enjoy this music more often.  But then came the iPod soon followed by smartphones and everything changed forever.

Now we have this beauty in our pockets at all times.  Anytime I want to, I can pull out my phone and listen to some of the most amazing music ever written performed just for me, directly to my ears through my headphones.  It's like my own little private concert.  I don't have to buy a ticket.  I don't have to wait for months.  I don't even have to put on pants.  It is always there.  It is just waiting for me to hit play.

Over the years, my life had gotten so busy and crazy.  Like all of us do as adults, I got caught up in making money and paying bills and I forgot that the music was still there.  I focused on stress, fear, and anxiety instead of the device in my pocket that had all the answers I was looking for.

When the world stopped, I finally remembered it was there.

I can't tell you how much joy this phone has brought to my life over the past few weeks.  I have totally been "the weird guy" walking down the street crying with headphones on because I can finally connect with this music in a way that I haven't in years.  I have listened to my favorite Broadway shows, I have listened to concertos, I have listened to the guilty pleasure songs from my youth.  It has transported me to another time and place.  It has connected me with nature, God and my community.  It has reminded me of the magic and wonder of being a kid.

Most importantly, it has reminded me that everything is going to be ok.  When I choose to see it, I have everything I need.  I have love, I have community and I have music.

There are many things the world is telling me I can't do right now, but there is one thing I can do.

Who knew the answer was in my pocket all along.

- Chris